It can be a very debilitating thing to see your vision so far from where you stand. All the more reason to get started one step at a time. Because if you never start, well….. you know the rest.

I believe strongly in describing something before you attempt to create it. Now is not the time to get into why, but it deserves some love sometime. Anyway, as I am trying to bring into focus my vision for my success portal I made a tough decision.

A friend that is helping me asked who’s the site for. Now I now, it’s for me. I’m going to use it to tie together all of the schizophrenic tangents that I’m spending my time on. Here’s how I came to this decision.

I believe that within me lies truth, pure truth. This is usually how I really feel about something, but am unable to get myself to accept. It can also be the combination of my feelings with my sense of what is to come or what you might call my intuition. In this case, I wanted to discover how I really felt about the website and what it should become. Here’s a real shocker, I wanted this project to be something different, something new. Oh boy, I was thinking, no one has thought of that before.

It can sometimes be hard to get at this truth, so I made a way to trick myself and see how I really feel. To start this process I will defocus my eyes and fix them on not seeing anything. Like what you would have done to see those 3D stereograms that everyone could see but me. All I ever got out of trying to see the 3D images was a headache. I did pick up the whole defocus but yet fix them on a focal point trick.

So once I have my eyes fixed, I will then pull this fixed focal length into myself. Almost like as if I was able to reverse the direction of my vision to look within myself. Once I’m able to reverse my view, I fix them upon myself. Once I have a lock I then start contemplating what is on my mind. It’s freaky, but it’s like I can see the synapses firing because I see my thoughts shooting around. I follow what whizzes by and filter what I can. It usually doesn’t take long before a picture begins to form. Usually this picture shows me what I need to see so that I can solve what is bugging me. I call this whole process using my mind’s eye.

So reaching through my mind’s eye, this is what I came up for x-cito.com. First and foremost, this site is about me. It is a virtual representation of me. Of me, my thoughts, maybe even my soul. So I’m not really concerned about who shall come, and what their expectations may be. These expectations are external to me, so they do not exist.

Once I saw the picture, I snapped my focal point back to normal. It usually takes a moment to adjust, but then I’m back and with a new perspective on my thoughts and feelings. It’s sometimes then followed by a little dizziness and a little headache. I guess it’s just something about messing around with your vision to see things that don’t seem to exist that gives you sort of a hangover or something. Obviously, this is not something I recommend you try at home.